An observation, a confession: taking the long way to the point.

I started this post with the intention of ranting about stupid women. Fact is I don't think they are stupid, just lost and a little unlucky. They deserve better. We all do.

I am astonished at how often I hear stories of women who allow the men in their lives to treat them badly. I'm not just talking about abuse, although that is the worst of it. I'm talking about men who stay out all night while the women is at home with the kids. Men who berate and undermine. Men who dictate what's allowed and what's not.

Huh? I don't get it. I don't understand how anyone could allow themselves to be treated like that. Yet it happens all the time or so I hear.

I've never experienced a situation quite like the ones above, but this is as close as I will ever come.

I was once in a relationship with someone who was extremely selfish. Right from the beginning he told me that he was who he was and either I went along with it or I could leave. At the time I was desperate to be loved, so I went along with it. While he never treated me poorly, he made it clear that he was the only one who was important to him. For example, he refused to make dinner for me EVER. He would make dinner for himself, but never for me. We were together for a year and he couldn't tell you the names of my parents or any one of my 3 brothers. I guess he just wasn't interested in me.

One Easter I had spent a few hours cooking us dinner. Roast beef, mashed potatoes, an assortment of veggies, gravy, dessert. It was a feast. I did it all myself while he sat on the couch and watched tv. It was time to cut the beef and mash the potatoes and I was only one person, so I asked if he could come help.
Me: Hey can you come cut the roast while I mash the potatoes
Him: No, you can do it
Me: What did you just say?
Him: I said no, I'm not doing it.
Me: (screaming) ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I COOKED THIS ENTIRE MEAL AND YOU CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO DO ONE TINY TASK!
Him: *Shrugs shoulders.*
I was irrate. I finished by myself, dished myself up some food and threw the rest in the garbage. Fuck him. Do you know what he did? Nothing. Made himself a sandwich and said nothing. I knew then that I was done. DONE. I did not want that to be my life. He was who he was, and I finally chose to leave.

I know how easy it is to end up in a bad situation. I'm sure that had I stayed, the situation would have escalated into something worse. I had such low self esteem and I was convinced that no guy on this earth would think I was attractive. I thought that I had to take what I could get.

WRONG

It all boils down to respect. Self respect. Every relationship in your life should be based on mutual respect. Partners, friends, family... every relationship.

If someone doesn't respect you, then they certainly don't love you.

That's the point.